Back in high school I drew a lot. Things you've produced at thirteen may have been pretty good at that time but when you look back at ten years later, all you want to do is toss them at a bonfire to never see the light of day again. Still, I was thirteen and I thought I was decently talented so I drew almost every day and even dreamt of someday becoming a famous artist or something.

During this phase I managed to collect more pencils and colored pencils than I should really own. I also hoarded old art materials from art class in elementary school. While I didn't really end up using them as I mostly stuck to colored pencils, I liked knowing that I have them if I wanted to play with them. (Yep. I'm a pack rat.)

It shouldn't be a surprise that the main influence in my style is anime and manga. I have always been a fan, after all. I haven't ever made a conscious effort of changing that, and while I wish I was capable of drawing in other styles, I now think that I should embrace what I can do and focus on getting better at it instead of trying to be good at everything at once.

Obviously, I never became famous nor an artist, much less both. I don't know exactly when I stopped drawing traditionally completely or when I also stopped drawing digitally. However, I think a big part of it was that my insecurities eventually caught up to me. In real life my friends were much better than me and online I saw people who were very talented. I felt that I wasn't improving at all and that I couldn't catch up to the level of these people who clearly have more talent than me.

Over the course of my creative dry spell, I've drawn a few things here and there but I never went back to my high school days of producing artwork like a factory. I tried to go back to DeviantArt once or twice although I never stayed for long. My pen tablet laid unused for a while, only occasionally picked up when editing photos or playing around in Photoshop.

A small compilation of SHT-related doodles.

Somehow I ended up picking it up again. I also don't remember how or why! It may or may not have been because of the positive feedback that my Kamen Rider W ask blog on Tumblr received, although I'm sure that was when I started becoming relatively known (at least among my circle of fandom friends) for my doodles.

That's where I found my "niche", I suppose. A lot of people liked them so I felt good enough about them to produce more. My more "serious" pieces (those that took longer to draw) didn't get as much praise as I would have liked. Since they take too much time and effort in comparison to the amount of feedback I get, I rarely ever get the inspiration or motivation to make them.

Ryosuke and Jun

[テニミュ] ogyt

Very recently, however, I was hit by a great urge to pick up a pencil and start drawing traditionally once more. Maybe it's the influence of artists friends in my fandom or just for want of more things to procrastinate. Either way it's like I'm thirteen again, with the confidence and enthusiasm I once had as a teenager.

Nameless from Nameless and The Scientist

If you could design a final aeon, what would it look like?

This time I decided to play with Crayola markers, which is actually more fun than I expected it to be. Even if I could afford Copic markers or any other fancy materials, I wouldn't know how to use them properly anyway! I'd just feel guilty for wasting ink or paper every time I mess up.

I thought of writing just one blog entry about my art but this turned out to be longer than I wanted it to be so I think I should stop here for now. The next part will be about the materials I currently use in my return to traditional art!