Well, would you look at that? This blog is spitting out another entry. This one is going to be shorter, though. There are only six photos and there's not much to say.

These are old photos from a trip to Ilocos in 2014. It's only three years ago, almost four, but it feels like it's been forever. I barely remember the experience, much less the feeling it gave me. Looking at these photos now, surely they truly happened and I felt something, maybe happiness or awe, witnessing such a beautiful view, rediscovering (as it was my second time here) such a wonderful place in my own country.

Without these photos, I only have vague memories of the place. And it's not just this place or this trip. It's the same with all the other trips I've gone on, even places like Disneyland and Japan, places I've dreamt of visiting for so long. You'd think those would stick to me because I remember being overwhelmingly happy and sad to be there, but I don't remember how that felt exactly, just that I cried and I was laughed at. I have to take pictures. I have to write about it. I have to put it somewhere I can look back to so I can remember. Unfortunately, not everyone takes kindly to people taking photos of literally everything, so I have to be very mindful about that...

I'm sure I'm not the only one this happens to. I think that's partly why we as a generation have become obsessed in documenting everything we do on social media. And even before Instagram or Facebook, there are people who do scrapbooking. Some still do journaling these days too. I've always been envious of people who can maintain picture perfect journals.

Isn't it strange? The stupid, terrible things I've said and done are all fresh in my mind, haunting me every waking moment even if it's literally been 20 years since. They all still give me a horrible feeling. And yet the things that made me very happy are memories I can only summon by looking back at photos I, hopefully, took during that time.

They say that it's best to "be in the moment" than to frantically try to document an experience, and I agree with that. Viewing something through the lens of a camera takes a bit away from what's in front of you. But I also know that I will regret not taking photos of something that made me very happy. Even now I regret not taking more photos when I was in Japan. There's so much I can't remember--so much I want to remember but I chose to be in the moment or I was too conscious of taking out my camera and being That Guy.

All I'm left with now is the vague idea of having been happy and the embarrassment from the negative things I've experienced from that place.

I called this blog "At Day's End" because I wanted to write about these experiences, these memories. At the end of the day I sit down, look at the photos I took, and collect my thoughts, so I can write them down for future me to look back to. I definitely failed that this year, huh? My blog archive just looks like 2017 was a giant black hole and that makes me sad. Was there really nothing I could look back to? Was everything just stuff I don't want to remember so I never wrote about them?

Hopefully I'll do better next year.